Foundation course

With Lady Gaga on everyone’s radar (including mine, surprisingly) there’s no denying that the eighties revival is in full, hell-let’s-go-for-it flow. And nothing declares ‘eighties’ more than a Lycra body/leotard/all-in-one (well, apart from fluffy perms and frosty lipstick and I’m so not going there). Hackney hipsters have been wearing them ironically for years, American Apparel does a roaring trade in raunchy metallic ones but I’m loving them from a purely practical point of view. As someone who can’t abide the cold, I need a number of layers under my YMC knits and a flimsy Hanro vest that doesn’t reach my hipbones just ain’t cutting it these days. Short of the vest-tucked-into-tights-and-said-tights-pulled-up-to-boobs manoeuvre (not a look poor D has taken to), there’s precious little else to keep the old kidneys warm, which is where the Lycra body comes in.

Wolford is still the gold standard of bodies – it hasn’t stopped selling them since Working Girl was the movie du jour. But £75 is a lot to pay for a basic foundation garment which might not even be seen, although there are some rather trendy Herve Leger-esque bandagy ones – for Cheryl Cole perhaps?

For those of an Alice-Dellal-lookalike persuasion, there are a number of skimpy lacy interpretations to go under sawn-off sleeve denim jackets and over-bleached drainpipe jeans – actually my inner floozie secretly quite likes these but alas, they won’t keep me warm.

ASOS’s ballet-wrap body looks set to be a winner. It suits my grey marl fetish and Jennifer-Beales-in-Flashdance aspirations plus it has long sleeves – result! Also very agreeable is this black Gerbe one – not bad for thirtyish quid although it loses points for fabric content – 94% polyamide – OK, maybe not.

However, if you really want the authentic 80s experience, head to Ebay for the original Donna Karan body. For hygiene reasons (euw), best search for BNWT…

Finally, I had to slip this link in. Warning: don’t click if you’re squeamish.