Who am I talking about? Those daft people who dawdle along Oxford Street during rush hour at a snail’s pace, dragging what seems to be their entire worldly goods behind them in an XXXL-size wheelie case. WTF?
Forget trying to do anything in a hurry in Oxford Street, you have no choice but to curb your pace to that of tourist-speed. This I can accept. Buy I truly don’t get why anyone would pull a wheelie case the length of the busiest shopping street in Britain. Have they just checked out of their hotel and decided to kill some time browsing the shops at ‘the shit end’ of Oxford Street? Or is the case actually empty, waiting to be filled up with goodies from Next, Primark and Jane Norman? The mind truly boggles. The strange thing is that you never see these spacial-awareness-averse weirdos inside the shops, only on the pavement (usually stopping short right in front of me).
Can anyone shed any light on the matter? It’s not just me, others have noticed it too… And while we’re on the subject, I seem to recall an ancient London by-law that says people with suitcases can’t take them on public transport. If you have a suitcase – GET A CAB* (er, sorry make-up artists)!
*Only (half) joking