Battle of the clogs

There’s no escaping it, those clumpy clogs are going to be all over the market stalls high street when the clock strikes 2010. Shall we have a look at who has the scariest fright-clogs for next season?

River Island
These are quite tame. Nice colour, quite an elegant heel (well, elegant for a clog), not too busy. In fact, not that scary at all. 2/10

River Island
Ah, this is a bit more like it. Whorish heels and garish tassels. Fairly scary 4/10

Chanel
This would be semi-sensible if it wasn’t for the frankly ridiculous net flower. 5/10

Miss Selfridge
Ooh look, a clog/scarf-shoe hybrid. Now the competition’s hotting up… 6/10

Swedish Hasbeens at Urban Outfitters

These are way too sweet to be scary. These are classy clogs, what are they even doing in this contest? 1/10

Louis Vuitton
Another whore-clog. How ugly are these, perfect candidates for Walford Market. Check out that nasty faded denim and chavvy buckle. Terrifying. 7/10

Louis Vuitton
A clog with hair extensions? Shut UP! It’s the Cheryl Cole of clogs! And with a natty stumpy heel too. Now we’re really cranking up the fear factor, Cheryl I dare you to wear these… 8/10

Louis Vuitton
Da-daaaaa! Finally, scoring top marks on the clog-o-meter is this witchy green clog-boot, well worthy of the Wicked Witch of the West. What’s not to hate? It’s a funny length, fashioned out of radioactive green logo-embossed denim, has a bizarre woolly moustache and costs about a million pounds. We have a winner! 10/10

Ok, pass the sick bucket…
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24 Responses to Battle of the clogs

  1. Mademoiselle Robot ❤ says:

    So I am a big fan of the swedish hasbeens shoes in general (including their winter boots) but the clogs trends just stayed stuck in my brain somewhere in between "eeew" and "eeeeurgh".

  2. selinaoolala says:

    i'd better not start to like these because they are too many levels of wrong!

  3. That's Not My Age says:

    I like the Swedish Hasbeens – nearly bought a pair in Stockholm last year, and then I remembered that I had a pair of clogs when I was a teenager and they were really uncomfortable!

  4. Marta Represa says:

    I have mixed feelings about these… I kind of like them but the minute I see everybody wearing them I know I'm gonna hate them!

    xx

  5. Sarah says:

    Actually really the UOs.

    The rest? Jesus Christ. Repulsive!

  6. Style Mews says:

    hahaha to be honest I quite like the miss selfridge ones.. most wearable if not a little whorish… i just love the phrase whore clogs, its soo bizarre! very funny!x

  7. Prinzessin Wunderlich says:

    Fall in LOVE!!! <3

  8. bambam says:

    I really find this clog thing pretty disturbing. I'd potentially rather wear uggs or crocs – and thats saying something.
    If I end up falling for this trend, I will seriously question myself, my fashion morals and my judgement!

  9. Make Do Style says:

    Oh I might as well fess up I'm a clog whore, I'll be parading around in them without a care in the world x

  10. WendyB says:

    I've loved clogs since high school!

  11. All Women Stalker says:

    HELL NO!

    I guess this would make my sister happy because these are more her taste. :-/

    -meream

  12. daywalker says:

    I don't care what anyone says. I wore clogs around 10 years ago, and just bought a pair of "Funkis" Swedish clogs – Huge fan of clogs :)

  13. Sabine says:

    I'm 100% with you on this count-down. What's Marc thinking??? Also liked your post so much, I'll put you on my blog favourite list. Thanks! Sabine x

  14. Hapsical Blog says:

    I appreciate your honesty about those vom-inducing Louis Vuittons.. normally people in fashion feel they have to *love* everything from big brands (even more so if Katie Grand was likely behind the styling or whatever)..

  15. Pearl Westwood says:

    I'm kinda liking the semi-normal clogs, particularily those with huge things stuck on them like the Chanel and RI's but I really can't wait to see who actually wears the monstrosities from LV LOL!!

  16. Pearl Westwood says:

    OOOPs I meant the Miss S NOT NOT NOT the RI's they are foul.

  17. miss milki says:

    Aaaagh! This is one of those trends that we'll all hate but somehow eventually all end up wearing. how does that happen? But yeah I'm sort of thinking the UO hasbeeens are cute. But I hope its not a slippery slop because some of those shoes are so hideous!

  18. Chérie City says:

    I had a hideous lime green suede pair with a silver buckle in the '90s.
    Maybe I should dig them out the back of my wardrobe….or not!

  19. pretty face says:

    I want the failing Hasbeens

  20. blue says:

    how brilliant .
    i designed a really bad boot once for a company and the customers loved it! when your stuck in the design studio designing these things sometimes you just have to do something funny and totally unexpected . Marc would have approved that green boots and all those vitton shoes with a wicked smile on face .We heart marc who knows his customers too well .

  21. fatgirlslikeniceclothestoo says:

    Those Hasbeens rock my world.

  22. M says:

    this is one trend I'm not keen on embracing, hope all the over exposure they'll have in the next few months does not win me over ek

  23. enc says:

    I'll be sitting the clog craze out, watching from the sidelines. These are really zippy, though!

  24. natisha85 says:

    the 1st clogs… DEF RIVER ISLAND?
    I WANT xx

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